In every situation, there are things to observe

Nearly 2 months have passed, and yet I am still waiting for that elusive call for AN INTERVIEW, don't even want to mention about an offer. The getting of a job is still far far away.

Notwithstanding, in every situation, good or bad, learn to observe and watch those around you. And yes, in a bad situation, you get to see the worst and best of everyone around you too.

In my situation, I get to see who are those "friends" who are genuinely concerned about my job future and who are those who are there for the sake of being there. In this instance, I have started separating the "acquaintances" from the "friends".

Motivation can also be as Devastating

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." - Henry Ford

Well, Mr Ford, you created mankind's first car, it is easy for you to say that. Very hard for layman like me to pick up the pieces and move on. Life is never the same again as before. Yes, I have learned, but I failed to forget (and perhaps forgive too).

----------

"The only people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw

I certainly am no maker of creation, what magic can I conjure? So I failed and I readily admitted it.

----------

"You cannot always control circumstances, but you can control your thoughts." - Charles E. Popplestone

Oh mine, that's easy for you to say, but rather hard for me to do it. The circumstances are beyond my control, without a doubt. My thoughts are not always controlled by my brain and that is the problem.... Sometimes, the heart takes over and rash and impulse actions take place and/or my thoughts sank me into deeper myst.

----------

"Believing in your own ideas, abilities, and decision-making is the first step to achieving success in life." - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

There is a song called "I believe I can fly" and once I believed in it. So I flew and soared in the sky! And I lost my soul in the process. But as I have had crash-landed now, I regained back my soul, but lost the confidence. So what should I seek now? A question that I have been pondering deeply too. No answer of course!

----------

"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." - Mark Twain

That is perhaps the root issue that I need to address immediately. Where am I heading to now, there are too many "ifs" at this moment. No matter the years that I have had for training during my competitive days in playing deep-thinking moves in chess or weiqi, I just couldn't figure a solution past the web of entanglement compounded by these "ifs" now. Or perhaps as the current music is suggesting, my heart is sunk and my brain is dead.

Someday I'll find my heart (back)

After a terrible bout of more than 2 months, I have switched from listening to sad Chinese sentimental songs (back) to more contemporary English vocal jazz songs. A good sign of moving on? I hope so, but you better listen to the song itself to have the greatest hint.

The song is called "Aspettami" by the group, Pink Martini.

Aspettami
Wait for me
I've been lost
Adrift at sea
In your dreams
Dream my way
Someday I'll find my heart
And come back to stay

Do you miss me
My darling
As I miss you
Take my hand
And pull me near
And never let me go again my dear

There was a time
I was safe in your arms
And the stars fell away like diamonds
Then we were young
And our love was younger still
Was it just an illusion

Aspettami
Wait for me
Close your eyes
And you will see
I'm coming home
Every sky in my heart will be blue
On the day I come back to you

I'm coming home
Every sky in my heart will be blue
On the day I come back to you

What is worth its worthiness?

Someone wrote this and I find it simple yet profound:


"世界上最珍贵的不是得不到和已失去，而是珍惜现在所拥有的"


Simple - that someone is stating the obvious. What other things can you cling onto with whatever you have left?

Profound - very hard to let go of the times/things that you have had before and lost it somehow. How many of us can totally let go of the past?

历史是没有如果的

如果人生没有选择的余地，那是那么痛苦的生活。
如果人生有了选择而矛盾，那是那么悲伤的局面。
所以是该有选择好呢，还是不选为好呢？
这本身就是个不愉快的选！

如果走到没有选择的时段，路只有前进，没有后退，旁拐弯。
那么走下这条只有这条路后，会后悔吗？
如果选择摆在面前，该如何选？
选了以后，走了以后，会回想从前有选择时的那时刻吗？
因为时间是不会倒退的。

历史是没有如果的，只有拼润你已经所做出的选择的效果。
如果有天时，那是您有先天命。
如果有人和，那是您有后天命。
如果有地利，那是指您的判断很正确。
如果要有天时，地利，人和同时出现，那还不如等待奇迹！

如果走一步，算一步；终点到底有多远呢？
还是答不出来的。
如果有了计划抵达终点，然而出现的路是不一样的呢？
还是计划失败了。
船到桥头正的自然会直吗？
还是会撞桥演出祸呢？

历史只会看我将怎么做。
既然已经破釜沉舟， 就没有后退了。
既然计划失败了，只有卧薪尝胆。
只要天理良心还在，我仍然还是我。
坚守我的尊严，心静忍一时。
让我在想一想吧。。。。

中年危机 (Mid-Life Crisis)

Time to motivate THAT courage

Time for myself to motivate myself to move forward. What better than to put a motivating song as company to motivation. All actions and all words!

The meaningful song is "理想国" by 张学友.


如果生命的主角并不是我
这一生也许匆匆走过
也不必想太多

如果我没有想过为谁而活
岁月只会消磨
梦总不会结果

如果逆耳的忠言是为了我
那怕你说的是我的错
我也不要你沉默

如果混乱跟争纷会演成祸
除非不能解脱
我最爱是平和

Chorus:
但我到底是我
坚守我的承诺
历史没有如果
只有看我将怎么做

看这锦绣山河
给我已经很多
让我全心全意
把这土地建成理想国


The lyrics are meaningful to me. I have too many "if" to ponder upon now... In Chinese, I would say this "有提示就有答案。。。 有选择就有反应。。。目前只有等待。。。"